All The Truth Unwinding
by freakingdork
Summary: It takes a date with Lila for Reid to realize he's got feelings for someone else. Prompted by Tumblr head!canon discussions I read. Part 1 of Lila 'verse.


**A/N - **Set around 2x04, when they head back to LA for a case. Starts out looking like Reid/Lila, but I promise it's actually about Reid/Morgan.

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><p><strong>All The Truth Unwinding<strong>

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><p>By all traditional beliefs regarding dating, the first part of the evening had gone rather well. And judging from the fact that he'd been invited back to her place and that her shirt had already found its way to her bedroom floor, he'd followed enough of Morgan's advice about how to act to keep Lila happy and interested while disregarding some of the things he felt were too obnoxious or cheesy or not...him. After all, Morgan's first rule had been to "be yourself."<p>

_'...why am I thinking about Morgan right now?'_ he wondered as Lila's deft hand tugged at the zipper of his pants. _'...great, now her hand is on my penis and I'm thinking about him, wonderful...this is completely...'_

"Spencer?" Lila asked, pulling him from his introspection. "You're thinking too much. Again. If you still think this is about transference, I looked it up and I disagree entirely."

He shook his head, a partial response, though he knew it was more of an attempt to clear any traces of Morgan from his head. "That's not it at all."

"So...you're gay," Lila stated with a hint of a question, removing her hand from inside his pants and resting it beside him on the bed.

"I'm...what? Out of the conclusions you could have drawn, I think that's the most illogical one to start with." He couldn't stop the pinkish hue that began coloring his face.

Lila carefully zipped him back up before reaching for her shirt. "Not if an overwhelming majority of the guys you've dated have come out before, during, or after your relationships."

"Before?" he questioned, unable to process why she would agree to such an arrangement.

"High school. A friend's parents - who were very religious, homophobic, and abusive - heard some 'rumors' about him that were true and he started worrying they'd kick him out if he didn't bring a girl home to 'prove' he wasn't gay."

"Oh...you're a good friend," he said, smiling.

Lila smiled back. "I'm glad you think so because the good friend in me thinks we should talk about whatever or _whoever_ you're thinking about."

"Well...okay, I've never really thought about it, but I guess I'm not entirely gay...I mean, I _can't_ be, not entirely, because I'm attracted to you, it's...ahh...I mean..." he fumbled.

"There's someone you're interested in and you're not even sure if he's into guys?" she suggested.

He licked his lips, completely unnerved by how easily she seemed to read him. "I...umm...m-maybe?"

A light flickered in her eyes. "Oh god, it's that really attractive guy you work with, isn't it? Derek?" He froze and felt his anxiety and the redness on his cheeks rise; Lila rolled her eyes. "Relax Spencer, it's not like I'm going to tell him or anyone else for that matter. Being a theater major means I've been friends with enough gay people to know better."

"Is it obvious?" he squeaked.

"I dunno...maybe to your team? I know they're a perceptive bunch," Lila shrugged. "Look, I picked him because he's hot, reads as at least mostly straight, and seemed like a nice guy. I assume you have good taste, especially since you're attracted to me," she winked.

"Uh, thanks, I think." Lila remained quiet. "It's...the problem is he's a consummate 'ladies man' and out of my league and I don't think he'd react badly to me coming out, but I don't know if he'd be angry I have a crush on him and...he's my friend, maybe even my best friend, and I've never had a lot of friends...and I don't know what I'd do if he stopped calling me 'pretty boy' or ruffling my hair or hanging out with me because he was suddenly worried that I was taking things the wrong way and..."

He knew the words were tumbling out, messy and uncensored, and he wondered why she hadn't stopped him yet; Lila was just sitting there, listening, processing, waiting. _'...like a good friend,'_ he realized. "...we work together and telling him could make things really awkward and complicated and stressful...not just for me and him, but the whole team because even though there's a rule against profiling each other, we all do it anyway and...oh geez, they probably already know...I can't even...how will I...?"

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Lila finally interrupted. He stared, unable to come up with a response to something so unexpected. "Around the house and the grounds. We can still talk if you want, but you've got so much nervous energy, I'm a little worried your brain is going to melt."

"My brain melting from stress is impossible, but studies have shown that exercise is helpful in reducing anxiety, so I can see how a walk might be beneficial."

"I'll take that as a yes." He nodded. "And Spencer? If Derek or anyone else even implies that he's out of your league, I will personally come to DC and kick their asses. You're sweet, caring, ridiculously gorgeous, and absurdly smart while still being humble about it. You could do anything you wanted, most of which would probably be less stressful, not nearly as dangerous, and pay better than working for the FBI. Parker told me you had a rough time at school and between that and your job, you're far less jaded than you probably should be. Seriously, anyone would be lucky to have you."

"A-about that walk, we should do that now," he croaked, holding back tears.

"Alright," she said, standing up. "Now tell me all about this man you can't stop thinking about..."

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><p><strong>2nd AN -**

1) During one of JustJasper and futur3love's regular Tumblr M/R head!canon asks, they talked about how Morgan would react to knowing that Reid slept with Lila...and it semi-evolved to Lila and Reid trying to sleep together, but end up talking about his crush on Morgan instead and how that would make a good fic. And then I couldn't help myself. I'm still working on my other stuff (including "Tonight I'm Gonna Be A Little Selfish"), I promise.

2) Note that when Reid says he's "not entirely" gay because he's still attracted to Lila...this is not a personal belief of mine. Despite being queer myself and doing a ton of reading on the matter once I realized it, it took me a couple years to understand that concept...so if he hadn't thought about his sexuality before... *shrugs* Also, I tend to think of (and therefore, write) Reid as bi/pansexual because I see him as the "mostly attracted to males, but could fall for someone who wasn't" type of guy.

3) Now with a sequel! Go to my profile and look for What Came Before.


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